I encourage you to read through this even if you have not experienced child loss. These links will provide you with information on how we are feeling and help you better understand what it is truly like to have to deal with child loss.
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Here are a few links that I have read that really explain this new life we were dealt. You have to remember that not everyone understands what it is like to lose a child. When someone says something to you that hurts, you need to remember that they are only trying to comfort you in the best way they know how, their way or words, usually way is not always right and their words are usually not the right words, but they want to help you, they want to say something to you and be there for you so they say anything, even if it is wrong, just to show they do care. Ive had such a hard time understanding this... I hear words all the time that make me cringe now; I always try to remember even tho it is words that hurt, they do not know the depth of my pain, they have no idea how different this pain is from any other loss, so their view or words is all they can offer to be able to offer something. I would rather a hug but we are just all wired differently and sometimes them words come anyway.
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This. These kind of words right here:
SidneyBlake is in a far greater place, - Really? So are you telling me his parents arms is not the best place for him?? Are you telling me I would not have given him all he needed?? And he would not have been in a greater place with us??
-- Reality is tho, I know without a doubt my son is in heaven, He is back in his makers arms, He is in a far better place than I am even at this point. BUT. It doesn't help. Matter of fact it HURTS! I do not want to hear them. I know our children are only on loan to us. I know that God gave them to us and has every right to take them away. I GET THAT!!!!!! Does it take away the pain?? NO!!!!!! Does it help knowing he is in heaven and not here with me... well Yes, it helps knowing he is there but NO!!!!!!! I need him here!!!! We are human. We have feelings. Our feelings, thoughts and actions are all different. Guess what??! That is OK!!!
We all have different ways we handled questions like that now or statements said.. and some have even lost their faith through the loss of a child or maybe you were not even a christian at all from the start. Whatever or where ever you may be at this point, We still have something in common. We are all in a club that NONE of us want to be in and unfortunately we have NO way to get out of it!
Its a lifetime membership, a membership that should not even exist.
So no matter where we are, what we believe or where we are now.. We all have been forced into this club of Child Loss:
